take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
