This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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