just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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