I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
honey bunches of taint.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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