She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
