I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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