to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
