Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize