I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize