yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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