D3 body, D1 cock
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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