shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize