His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
