Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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