Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I touched a dick in church today
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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