At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The power of my boobs compel you
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
