Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
