he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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