Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
