This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
