Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
