i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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