Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
