I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
