It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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