I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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