I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
