Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
