Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
