he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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