Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
