I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
