he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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