Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize