my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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