Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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