I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
