Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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