What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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