At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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