Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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