Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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