We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
