they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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