i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
