You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
