sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize