either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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