Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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