Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im drinking this country out of the recession.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
