I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
