well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
