Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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