Say something about gay babies.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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