Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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