the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
