I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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