SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
