now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
