Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
