arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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