You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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