It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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