people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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